Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Funeral Service

The funeral was attended by so many of our family, dear friends, neighbors, co-workers, and more.  We could hardly take in the outpouring of support on this day of sorrow.  Somehow each person who came to stand by us, also took a piece of the burden with them as they left us with hugs, condolences and joined in our tears. 

On behalf of the family we welcome  you.  Your presence is much appreciated.  There is a group behind  the pall bearers who are of this ministry that Tyler believed in.  From  the time Tyler was a baby he would come to fellowship meetings and as a child  he and his siblings – I hesitate to say ‘played meeting’ – because it meant a  lot to him and to his parents.  One of the hymns that Tyler chose often  is in the folder; “We Have Found  Him”.  Those involved in mission work in Kansas and Nebraska  and surrounding states will sing that hymn to begin the  service.
We Have Found Him” sang by the  workers present.
LeRoy Sandford  prayed
DARLA FISHER:  “We have found Him –  bear the tidings far”.  Bearing tidings wasn’t just in word, but in  actions and in spirit.  Many times these days we have heard “Everyone  loved Tyler.” And we have known that, but Tyler loved everyone and we know  that.  A ‘generation gap’ was something Tyler didn’t know.  He loved  the very young and he loved the elderly and if there was anything that could  cause a generation gap his hand was outstretched in kindness and love and  reached over that and it means a lot to us today because of something we  understand.  We know Tyler loved God and it wasn’t just the kindness of  Tyler we were knowing, but it was the kindness of God through Tyler that we  were feeling and were knowing.  That was why it means so much to  us.  These days I have been so aware of the feeling of the coldness of  reality.  The reality of Tyler’s death is like walking outside and  feeling the cold winter wind hitting you and your response is to turn and flee  and we would rather not face it.  Do you know what God is offering is  like a warm coat so you can endure the cold.  God is offering to us the  warmth of His comfort and His presence so we can endure.  When Jesus was  on the cross they offered Him vinegar mixed with gall.  That was in order  to ease the pain, but Jesus refused it.  So many times these days I have  wanted to take away the pain but I realized that in doing that I would be  refusing love because if we love we will have pain.  But what we pray for  and what God is so willing to give is comfort.  Jesus said “Father, into  thy hands I commend my spirit.”  That is what we do today; we leave it in  God’s hands.  Luke 22 Jesus prayed in the garden and he said “Father, if  thou be willing, remove this cup from me”.   He would rather not  take it.  He knew what was before Him; bearing our sin; separated from  His father’s face, but he said “But nevertheless not my will, but thine, be  done”.  That is wholly resignation and there appeared an angel  strengthening Him.  He knew the comfort and strength to endure the  situation ahead.  And then it says He prayed more earnestly.  That  is what God is offering us – strength to endure our situation.  Jesus was  not preserved – Tyler’s life could not be preserved, and Tyler had found Him  and He found the One who can preserve his soul.  And we thank God He  planned it so.


SHARON CARROLL:  Ecclesiastes 12   Solomon in all his wisdom he said this “Remember now thy Creator in the days  of thy youth.”  Words that were inspired by the Holy Spirit and they are  made real again this morning.  We know Tyler could have done lots in this  world because he gave his heart to everything he did, but early in his life he  gave his life to Jesus.  We witness that submission that commitment to  the God of heaven understanding that my life is not my own, but belongs to  God.  Some went into Tyler’s bedroom and found his bible open on his  bed.  It could have been something else.  He was exercising that  which was Godly.  He was a good boy, but he was more than that; he was  Godly.  Even that last day talking to his sisters he told them he loved  everyone in this world – “there is no one I hate”.  He lived for others –  not to himself.  I thought of Jesus and His last hours.  He uttered  to His Father “Father forgive them for they know not what they do”.    Even to those who did not say they were sorry that they had nailed  Him to the cross, but still He asked for their  forgiveness.     Vs. 6 is a picture of a pitcher broken by  the fountain.  We know the broken things of this world are discarded, but  broken things are precious to God.  Like Tyler’s reading his bible that  morning – his life filled with the living water is still going to effect our  life yet today.  We can read about the living word – we think of Tyler in  the Sunday morning meeting.  He was filled with the living word and  sharing with others.  Tyler at first read for himself and then he brought  that to the meeting so it could cleanse and refresh his brethren.  The  scripture tells us a broken contrite heart God will not despise.  Tyler  was speaking from this book of his life and said “I am so thankful God ever  spoke to me”.  We read of a broken alabaster box.  She said so much  more with her life than she did with her words.  That she wanted to spend  eternity with God.

Up in a quaint old  attic

As the raindrops pattered  down,

I sat paging through an  old schoolbook

Dusty, tattered and  brown

I came to a page that was  folded down

Across it was written in  childish hand,

"The teacher says to  leave this for now,

It's hard to  understand."

I unfolded the page and  read,

Then I nodded my head and  said,

"The teacher was right,  now I understand"

There are lots of pages  in the book of life

That are hard to  understand

All we can do is fold  them down and write:

"The teacher says to  leave this for now,

It's hard to  understand."


Then someday-only in  Heaven-

We will unfold the pages  again,

Read them, and say "The  teacher

Was right; now I  understand."

When it comes to the  death of the person

Whom we are laying to  rest today,

About all we can do is  fold down the page

And write, "The teacher  says to leave this for now,


We are so so thankful to the God of heaven  and we just want to leave it to Him.  Vs. 13:   “ … the  conclusion of the whole matter”.  The end of it.   Nothing more  to say.   We see in Tyler – in our little Tyler – we see the fruit  of that.  That it is not in vain, but it is what life is all about.   We are so so reminded of a Father who was so willing to give His Son.   Our Father who did not hold back, but gave His perfect Son.  Because of  that sacrifice we can have rest and hope in the resurrection.  We can  feel as a sister once said a long time ago: “I know my brother – I know our  little Tyler – will rise again.”
STANLEY MORRISON:  I just want to read  one verse this morning.  Acts 17:31  “Because he hath appointed a  day, in the which he will judge the world in righteousness by that man whom he  hath ordained; whereof he hath given assurance unto all men, in that he hath  raised him from the dead.” The more I look into that verse the  greater it becomes.  There is a whole lot of things contained in that  verse.  I lost a brother in 1957 in a farming accident and I decided  later that it was harder on my parents than on me.  The reason is it was  my brother and it was their son.  I think I can understand a lot better  how Darren, Brianna and Tonya feel than Duane and Brenda, but even if we can’t  fully understand we can care.  With this verse he made it very clear the  reality of the judgment day.  If we do not face every day with reality we  do not get very far.  If we do not face eternity with reality we won’t  get far either.  We will be judged by the righteousness of Jesus.   That is all.  It is not what we have done or have not done that will  matter.  Does our thinking matter?  I remember stopping at Grotz’s  when Tyler was about four years of age.  I told him “I knew your mother  when she was younger than you.”  He looked at me in total  disbelief.  And If we would have told him a week ago that we would be at  his funeral today he would not have believed that either.  You can think  a lot of things and so can I, but remember this that we will be judged by  Christ and there is no getting around it.  I would like to say this to  all the younger people especially to remember you have no guarantee on  tomorrow.  We have no guarantee - -- whether you serve God or reject Him  that is what you will be judged by.  That is just the reality of  life.


What is the ultimate  meaning of life

Babyhood, boyhood,  prime,

Down to the age of the  tottering step

Is it merely a passing of  time?

This is the ultimate  meaning of life:

Time to become like God’s  Son

This is our hope as we  toil in the strife,

Our rest when the labor  is done.

Do we let Him work or do we think we can do  it without Him?  The reality of life is pretty real sometimes.  On  the day of my brother’s funeral my mother greeting one of the men who brought  them the gospel with; “Where would we be today if you had not brought the  gospel?”  It was what brought comfort.  This verse does not mention  forgiveness, mercy, love or grace and yet it does because it is what we do  with Jesus.  If we accept Him we have forgiveness, mercy, love and grace  to do what we need to do.  I am not going to be judged by what I have  done in the community or anything here but I will be judged by what I have  done with Christ Jesus.
LEROY SANDFORD:  Matthew 16:24-28   We have been asking the question if there was something that Tyler mentioned  especially in the fellowship meetings and the answer that was given is that he  often prayed to “remember that nothing matters but salvation”.  With that  thought this verse “taking up my cross” and then “whosever shall save his life  shall lose it”.    When we are aware that nothing matters but  salvation that is what makes us willing to lay down our life.  Tyler was  a farmer and every spring a lot of seed was sown in the ground and died, but  what came forth was so much more than that.  It is the same thought  spiritually.  That whatever we lose here on earth is really not  lost.  We do not buy salvation do we, but what we do is submit to God and  fall into the ground and die and now it mentions the glory of Jesus coming in  the glory of his Father with his angels and then he says “There be some  standing here, which shall not taste of death, till they see the Son of man  coming in his kingdom.”  One thought is if I have a vision of the Son of  man coming into His kingdom it does not matter what I have to die to - I am  willing if I can have a part with Him.  Another aspect that there were  some standing there who were on the Mount of Transfiguration and they saw  Jesus change and what a tremendous experience to see that, but there was a  connection with that in II Peter 1:16-19   What is this “no sure  word of prophesy”?  We understand the day star being the sun.  We  see the sun rise and we can see everything of this creation clearly, but if we  go out at night everything is the same because it is dark.  But what  about the sun rise in our hearts?  It’s like seeing Jesus within  ourselves.  When that happens we have something that no one can take from  us.   We are just so grateful that this was Tyler’s  experience.  We do not want to lose the reason for Tyler’s life and we do  not want to lose the impression of this day and we do not want to lose what  God has for us individually.
Hymn “It Pays to Serve Jesus” sang by  Tyler’s young friends 30 years old and under.   

“When Life Is Ended” sang by  crowd

JOHN SMART:  It’s been really special  to be with the Grotz’s the last four days.  I don’t have much to add but  what came to my mind Thursday afternoon when we were at the funeral home was  God is asking His people to love Him and that is what I saw there.  We  love the kindness that was shown by the neighbors and friends coming to the  house, but when we could look at Tyler and let him go because we believe in  the resurrection and because we know that if we would ask him that he would  not want to come back and so such a tragedy on Tuesday night will change the  lives of his family forever, but they saw the Lord on the throne and they  understood what He is trying to do for His people and they can bow their head  and worship and that is what I am thankful for  today.

 Roy Williams  prayed

Workers  Present
Kansas/Nebraska:  LeRoy Sanford, Owen Heisler,  Stanley Morrison, Leslie Pountney, Brad Stuefen, Eric Hahn, Don Davidon, Douglas Ogden, John Smart, Virginia Kleeb, Judy BIxby, CHristina Creech, Julie Harthorn, Sheila Miller, Darla Fisher, Roanne Kooy, Michelle Lord, Amy Ngo, Jana Jelinek, Lara Wilhoit, Anna Cronk
          Minnesota: Roy Williams, Bruce Van Shelton, Alfred Broady

           Iowa:  Loran Skaw, Susan Eicher, Doreen Beyer, Shari Connelly, Jennifer Bartels,
          Marybelle Armstrong, Anita Forsberg, Grace Henderson
          Missouri:  Tim Vaughan, Warren Taylor

          South Dakota:  Gayle Motley, Angie Olson

          Oklahoma:  Ken Pinney

Here is a link to an article posted in the local York newspaper regarding the service:
York newspaper article of Tyler's funeral

Following are some pictures taken by a friend of ours commemorating the day.  Please know how much your thoughts, prayers, and continued care means to us.  The posts you have left will help us understand just how far reaching our own pain is felt, but also how much love is shared across the globe in this dear family of God.

Thank you again for all you've shared.

Duane, Brenda, Brianna, Tonya, Darren & Cara


  1. Dearest Duane, Brenda and family~ Our hearts & minds continue to be with you as you face each new day and experience with such a huge void in your lives. We thought of you so much yesterday as the new normal began and again today as you faced a reminder of how your lives changed 1 week ago.

    The pictures above are a beautiful testimony to what Tyler and all of you have lived for.

    May you continued to feel the love enveloped around you from near and far.

  2. Still holding you close in heart!
    Scott, Renee, Chet and Chase

  3. Yes, thoughts are still with you daily..thanks for sharing the photos. With love from Laura W.

  4. So glad I could be there on Saturday! What was shared helped us that didn't know Tyler to know him. What a beautiful person! "I love everybody." Thank you for your part in helping Tyler be who he was. I can't be thankful enough for faithful parents! I know the real work comes from God, but having faithful parents makes it a lot easier to be faithful ourselves. Hope you ALL feel extra love these days!! We are all thinking of you!

  5. Thanks so much for sharing. It was very hard not to be there Saturday, and we've heard thoughts that were shared, but this is nice to read all the notes and put it together.

    Love the thought of Tyler knowing that nothing mattered but salvation, and living according to that.

    Sending our love to all of you as you try to press forward. You are not forgotten.

    Royce, Lisa, Caden, Micayla, & Callen

  6. Our dearest friends and family,
    Our hearts are very touched. Tender thoughts go your way...

  7. It was a special, comforting service .... so thankful for the comfort of God that was there. And so thankful for the love that there is in this ministry, in this fellowship, that moves people to feel sorrow for those who are in sorrow, to share the sorrow. Shared love, shared sorrow ... and the burden can be lightened.
    I find myself in awe of Tyler's testimony ... inspiring and beautiful ... something he leaves behind that can and will be a help to many.
    Continuing to think of you all often in prayer, with deep care.


  8. We know you don't know us but want you to know how much you are in our heart thoughts. We are in NH and we have 4 sons a bit older than Tyler was. We even heard about Tyler in our Bible Study on Wednesday.

    Brian and Anji Church

  9. We are here in Independence at a work project and thinking of your family as it is a week now. Hoping you are finding strength for today ---- and tomorrow and that we will continue to think of you. The Indy work crew

  10. As we have since the Tyler's accident, we again woke this morning remembering you. We hope in some small way we can one of the threads in the cord of comfort that will begin to sew your hearts together. We can never fully understand the pain you feel, but we do understand the pain we feel for you. May you again find strength for the day, moment by moment. We are remembering and will never forget~

  11. Dear Duane, Brenda, Darren, Cara, Brianna, Tonya and all the family of Tyler,

    It was very hard to be so far away traveling out West during this sad time for you all. We were close in heart though. Very glad for this to read and see of Tylers life, the funeral, and others comforting words.

    I remember when we got word that Tyler was born. We were living in NV then, and Lorna sent the news our way. He came a little over a year before our Weston. I know we didn't know him well, but always noticed him at conv. and occasional other priveledges as a smiling friendly happy looking kid.

    Looking back over 21 years, it doesn't seem like very long, but it is evident in your Tylers' life that it is long enough to be what he needed to be for God. That enabled him to leave such an inspiring testimony for many to remember. We could only hope for such a priveledge ourselves.

    Holding you all close in thought and prayer these days.
    with love,
    Patrick & Gay Keough family

  12. We have never met but since we heard of this tragedy you have been in our minds, thoughts and prayers. He was spoken highly of by the workers at convention in Ellerhouse, Nova Scotia. Canada.As you are going through these tough times many others are thing of you and sharing in your sorrow.

    Stephen and Bonnie Young and family
    New Brunswick. Canada

  13. We have never met you either, but our thoughts have gone your way so often, too. As parents of four, from 27 down to 9, our hearts are heavy for you, knowing how much you feel this loss. We are so thankful that the comfort of our Father can come to you and surround you through the caring and love of others, and through knowing he was at peace. Our thoughts and care will continue to come your way through days ahead. Hugs to each one of you....

  14. ~Remembering you again today with compassion and love~

    1. Ditto ~~ There isn't a day that goes by that we don't think of you all ~~ Remembering, with others ...

      With all our care,

      Leroy and Denise and family

  15. Dear Duane, Brenda & family of Tyler-
    My thoughts have went your way so often the past weeks. It was nice to come & read over the notes.
    This morning would be a special day for you, I'm sure a very touching & tender time.
    Please know we continue to think of you all with love.
    L & M Jelinek